i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
