she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You should frame my arrest warrant.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
