she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
