come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
