I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
