I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
