oh god the rape fog is back!
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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