yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
