i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
