Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
