Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize