Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
