im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
