I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
