after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
