It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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