Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
