Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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