have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
