So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
