didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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