hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
