Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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