Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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