I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
