i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
