I think i peed on brittanys purse
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
