All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
