$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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