Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
