Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
