My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
