Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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