I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
