just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize