My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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