Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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