hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He keeps bees of course he's weird
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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