so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
