I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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