I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
