I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
