Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
