Non-Jews are for practice
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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