im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
