The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He better not be in your backpack
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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