glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Randomize
