party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
