Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Do vagina's smell?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
