yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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