I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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