I hate all girls vehemently.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
