i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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