can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
