yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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